In Search For~~~

The Old Amanda Chua... I've had a hard time searching for the old Amanda, the old cheerful Amanda is missing, i cant seems to be able to find her back. Probably i'll be able to find her back 1 day, but when will it be ? The Answer is... I DONT KNOW...

I've heard comments from friends that the Amanda they know is no longer the old Amanda which they knew earlier. Personally i think so too...



I really missed her Cheerful Smile as well... the never stop smiling, always looking cheery, happy go lucky Amanda. Let's pray that we will be able to find her back soon. Prolly it's just the matter of time.

Missing You,
Amanda Chua (New)

Thank You & Sorry...

Thank you for all the encouragement, care and concern. Sorry that i've always been stubborn and being a reckless rider.

I wanna Thank too many people, for showing the ultimate care & concern for me... seriously blessed and touched. Thank you for being so observant, knowing something is not right, & showing a little concern for me.

Thanks for the encouragement and i've gotten a small booklet of encouragement + very belated bday wishes from my fellow colleagues. I really love all of you lots !!! But i still love my lover more la... ahhha...
And all of you for making the additional miles to visit me at the hidden wulu corner, ensuring i'm ok, giving me lotsa "Ai De Gu Li", Huggies, Pat on my shoulder, giving assurance, keep scolding me but is for my own good. Insist on Da-bao-ing food for me when i wanna skip lunch. I'm seriously touched, it makes me tear... really... i've never felt so love by so many people for the longest time. I REALLY REALLY LOVE ALL OF YOU !!! (Although all of you dont know my blog =P)

Thank you my belove family members... never fail to show the ample care, concern, simple text msg and call to make sure i'm ok and coping well.

Ofcourse a few of my outside friends... you know who you are. Thinking back, reflecting about the whole thing, it makes me feel really disheartened... Really really sad, heart breaking. AND I DONT KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON !!! AND I'M DEFINITELY NOT THINKING TOO MUCH !!! Can someone freaking gimmi an answer to all my questions ?? I'm feeling really really really down !!!

Suddenly i'm feeling emo tonight again... WHY DOES IT HURT ME SO ???

Sorry for drinking too much... really way too much... i noe it's definitely not good for my health. But i think drinking seems kinda addictive... seriously...

Sorry for riding so recklessly... Met a few close shave kinda incident before, i really hate myself for that... I really needa change...

Sorry for being so Stubborn... i know i should change, but it's really not easy... some people are handling me pretty well =)

Ok... i shall stop... TGIF... but i dont seems to look forward to it...

Emo-ing,
Amanda Chua

Utterly Disappointed...

As mentioned in my title, i'm utterly disappointed with myself. While riding home, realised that the weather was rather cool and kinda suitable for running. Reached home, changed to my running gear and head out for a jog. Never did i realise, i started panting so hard and fast, feeling really tired just after a mere 2km. Not only that, my back and knee starts to hurt pretty badly, feeling giddy and stuff.

Few things came into my mind:
- Not enough sleep ?
- Cause i skip lunch and dinner ?
- Cause i did not run for like 3 months already ?
- Cause my determination and mentally not strong enough ?

I really dont know, but i'm really really very disappointed with myself. But i'll just try to attempt another run soon and see how it goes.

Guess none of my colleague will chance upon my blog, cus i didnt tell them my blog add. Anyways, i've been rather stupid... i've been feeling a little emo these few weeks, especially at night while lying on the bed. Didnt really sleep well for the past weeks and occasionally i actually cried. I mean i dont know why, lotsa things in my mind and whenever i think abt my close colleague who's leaving, my tears just flow without me knowing. Thinking back about the past, how much SHIT we've been thru, really SHIT. And the wonderful oversea trip we went together, with lotsa nice memories.
Was thinking since i cry now, prolly her last day my tear gland will be too dry up and i wont cry. I cant' continue this topic anymore, it makes me wanna cry again. Was tearing when i'm walking back from my short run just now. =(

I'm glad at least my favourite colleague, my duper close lover is still around. Otherwise i dont know how life will be at work. Haiz, expect the unexpected...

Ok it's gonna be a busy week ahead, wont be online at all maybe from Thurs night all the way till Sat night. Prolly will only online on Sun... Ok i needa go shower... I stink from the run =P

I'm So Gonna Miss You Babe,
Amanda Chua

Quick Update...

Pretty exciting week, cause our RCCC transformed into a Mini Carnival Place. But it's really nice to see all those Sec Sch kids putting in effort to design their own booth (based on different countries). Overall glad that things are pretty stable, not much of a OVERWORK timing.

Managed to go back early for this week, except for Monday which everyone left. And yea, a mini party at New Asia Bar after work. Had a couple of drinks with those group of new peeps which i've met up with last week.

I'm feeling pretty happy, maybe because it's a more relaxing week, managed to spend time with a couple of friends. And really appreciate the short lunch with Kw on thurs.

Friday was a rather funny day, was telling myself no lunch, no dinner. But ended up we went Subway again for lunch. Hahah but it's quite alright, healthier choice... Head down to airport at night, funny thing is, i didnt ride my bike, took train with Sophie instead. Ok i needa say i'm kinda "Mountain Tortise", was in the New Mrt Train, and realised there's so much changes, somehow like Tw's Mrt now. Nice long chat, and yes we went all the way to Airport just for Mac =P
Was meeting my friends there, and it's near to Sophie's house, so yea and i'm kinda rushing for time. So it's like 1 stone killing lotsa birds...

Sat was a rather packed day, Morning duty till 1pm, Cine for Kbox with SSS group, Dinner with another SSS group and head down to the most Wulu area i feel till now... Sengkang for BBQ.
The Wii we played was like super funny, we're laughing almost throughout but it's rather fun. And you will never realise how time flies when u're having real fun.

And so here comes Sun, another day which i look forward to. Woke up early for breakfast with friends, now i'm slacking home for awhile cause the afternoon appointment got cancelled last min. So awaiting and preparing for TRANSFORMER tonight !!! Oh my... finally !!! Dont really have the time to watch it except today. Hehehe... i'm gonna see how good is that, lotsa good comment.

Okay... super lenghty blog... all words, words and words... but who cares...

Happy,
Amanda Chua