aNgRy~~~

I AM ANGRY !!!

I don't see why an older guy can have sucha stupid thinking, i'm sorry i use the word "Stupid", but i'm really angry.

I was having this conversation with someone i used to love, but not now anymore. I was explaining my stand that when i'm attached, i'll make sure i don't do things that crosses beyond the line.
This particular guy, just jumped into conclusion so suddenly saying these 2 things:-

1. Means now you can anyhow.
2. So in another word is Flirt.

And he actually add on saying that i'm enjoying all these...

I'm seriously angry about these conversation, but all my friends who knows me well enough will know that i'm not this kinda person. I'm seriously speechless, i won't wanna use this word Dumb or Stupid, but i'm so sorry i jus have to let it out !!

Why can't some people jus understand ? I'm seriously enjoying my life now with really good company and people i truely love, can actually make him think that i'm flirting around ? And he thinks that i'm enjoying all these flirting now. Oh gOsh... Stabbed me with a knife please !!

I am not in a mood to blog about my Happy and Crazy Sat Nite, shall do it again when i'm free and not so pissed off...

PiSsEd,
Amanda Chua

Mentally Drained...

I'm having a rather bad headache now, i've realised that majority of us (me and my colleagues), we're spending more than 12 hrs a day just in the office itself. We occasionally joke and tease each other, "where's your house ? Don't tell me it's this office ?" Sometimes i feel that i'm really done with my stuff, i can complete my task on time with a pretty good time management skills. But why am i still going back home late ? Sigh~~ i shan't emphasize on it here... Just pretty Speechless~~

Hmmm, i have not plan on what to do on Friday night, not everyone is free.

But.... I'm so looking forward to Saturday !!! Gonna be a Fun, Tired yet Crazy and Happening Day & Night !!! Weekend please come soon~~

But i must admit time really flies, this Friday gonna be Pay Day ! But all of it will be thrown into my Bangkok Trip and i'll still needa wait for April's Pay to top up for my Taiwan Trip. SO POOR CAN ?? But what the hell, as long as i enjoy, and i'm definitely sure i'll with the great Company i'm gonna have for both different trips.

"Voice out with freedom ? Or keep it to oneself ?
For either ways, it's not gonna benefit us,
As there's differences in the culture."

Shit just happened at times, but i am rather proud of myself, as i realised i'm kinda good at keeping my cool and not showing my unhappiness at my work. Or even if i'm sad, i don't show it out easily... hahaha...


Tired & Sleepy,
Amanda Chua

EmOtiOn - LeSs

Having a nice filling dinner, drinking and gossiping will be the best way to relieve stress.
Ofcourse you would needa gossip with the right group of frenz. Like how i used to gossip so much with my Dear, we can practically chat on the phone for the longest time, like there's once we chatted from 2am to 5am, despite having to work the next day. Hahha and she knows i love her !!

It's nice having dinner at this not so atas place (Streets), and having beer at this atas (Introbar)... Nice gals talk/gossip... I needa find a day to really go drink my hearts out without worrying about something ( i can't reveal it here, haha ). But not too bad, cont. some more drinks at home, cheaper and yea safer =P

Sometimes i hate myself for feeling Emo, it's like What The Hell... I know many of my frenz are kinda concern about me. But i'm sorry, as i'm kinda stubborn, but i'm always extra careful with things i do ya.
But all your scoldings and care for me is greatly felt, and i thank you all for that, cause i know all of you still love me. =))

I'm blogging more often, logging on to msn is because i've made a promise to all of you (you know who you are), that i'll be more active and putting in more effort to treasure all the friends i have, and getting latest update on each and everyone of you.

Ok guess i shall stop here for now... very sleepy and drowsy... it's gonna be a good nite sleep. =P


Love,
Amanda Chua

EnJoyiNg EvEry mOmEnt of it...

Workload increased, slowly i feel that i'm drowning....

But what i want now is to learn more new stuff, getting started with things i've not done before.

Plans/Fun/Holidays... that's what i'm looking forward to, to action as many of it and make sure it's fun and enjoyable.

Oh yea went to watch "Race To Witch Mountain" yesterday night, it's a rather nice show, i expect it to be quite bad which i tht i wont enjoy but i'm wrong.
Hahha i made the right decision by going home, park my bike and asking my fren to pick me up. Cause i was practically stonning when i step into the cinema.

HmMmm... might not have plans for the weekend, but well i shall see about it.

I realised after not meeting up/chatting with Melvin for so long, we still have so much to talk online. I missed and love him can ?? He's still my best bud, we can chat practically about anything and everything. We've so much to catch up again when he's back. Actually he's always the one i'll happen to share about my unhappiness. Thank you boy...

I love chatting with many people, they just make me feel better. But everyone is so involved in their own stuff, especially everyone now is preparing for their exams, me the only one working have nothing in common with them to study about. Depressing... maybe i should start studying ? But it's gonna be ex, i dun want burden on my parents.

Oh yes, everyone is trying to make me grow some meat !! But no doubt, my appetite is back, it's back like 3 weeks ago ? I can feel that my tummy is growing a little bigger, not beer belly i hope.
My office secret affair lover had been trying to feed me with snacks, wanting me to grow fat. But yea i should gain back some weight which i've loss.

Ok i know this post is kinda lengthy... but pardon me. Cause i'm stonning while blogging. =p

*Enjoying every happy moment experiencing now,
Otherwise when gone, never will able to find the same happy moment again.*

I Love All My Friends... I Really Do... I Can Never Live Without Any Single One Of You... Also My Brothers and Mummy... *MuAcKsSss...*


Xoxo,
Amanda Chua

The Answer Is...

As per my title,

The Answer Is... A Painful Goodbye...

Guess it's not the best ending i want though, but that's the only way to end the suffering for both. As everyone know i may look tough, but deep inside, my heart is actually quite fragile...

Okay anyways guess it's just the matter of time, just hope this firm decision will stop the unhappiness and suffering. And hope happiness be by our side...

"Do not look back and grieve over the past,
for it is gone,
and do not be troubled about the future,
for it has yet to come.
Live in the present, and make it so beautiful
that it will be worth remembering."

It's over, i should not grieve about it, but to move on... it's always never easy to end off something, but guess people jus assume it's easy for me.
It takes time, how long ? God knows...

I'm glad i have my baby, to bring me around for some nice cool breeze. By the way i tht of naming my baby Raphael or Michelangelo, haven't decide on which one though. Haha...

Alright, take care aligators...


Healing My Soul,
Amanda Chua

WhAt iS LoVe ?

Friends & Close ones around me are all experiencing some complications when it comes to relationship. Sometimes you think back why can't love be as simple as it can be ? It's actually simple, jus that... hmmm well if i go on, there'll be never ending to it.

How do you define your relationship with someone when it's stated "complicated" ?

I remember sharing with my bro on this, "complicated", does it means "separation/cool down period" ? Or if you think of a funnier view, it would be "i'm bi" ? I have a few friends that's experience this "complicated" status in their relationship, ok but it's "separation/cooldown period", it's not the other option FYI.

Anyways, i came across this blog and that person actually wrote:-
*Its not easy to let go. I'll learn to be strong*

I kind of understand that sentence from my point of view. Probably this quote can advise him on something...

"All are architects of fate.
So look not mournfully into the past.
It comes not back again."

Hope this helps, and hope he can move on as that sentence explains about what he wants. Correct me if i'm wrong, as that's my own interpretation.

Oh yea, i can't believe the world is like so small, seriously small, i even saw my friends at Party World Shenton way, haha and also my cousin's ex bf. Small small world, and seriously it's always good to have connection. I shan't emphasized on that much, and my ex neighbour can really sing for nuts !!

I'm feeling so poor, yet i've so many things in mind that i wanna plan for. But this time round will be short short trips instead. I must seriously control my spending, just Bangkok trip and Taiwan trip itself i'm expecting total damage of probably at least 2k ? It's kinda scary, yet i've so many things i tht of buying in mind. Gawd~~ i need a rich husband !! Hahaha....


xoxo,
Amanda Chua

LoVe tHe PaSt mEmOriEs...

Guess it's not my 1st time blogging abt past memories that i love. Since i'm free today (as plan got cancelled), i went digging out some of my past collections of pressie n love letters. Reading it makes me able to recall abt the past happy moments i have with them, and it's rather sweet and makes my heart skips a little faster. But well, as i mentioned it's the past, and means it's history.

One thing i regret is, i think i misplaced some cards and letters from my love ones or even from my friends. Hope i can dig out someday somewhere, and i clearly remembered tis big half an A3 size card was like missing, gawd and i remembering seeing it a few months back.

I'm gonna go Ikea some day to buy those big boxes again to keep all my precious memorable items. So the happy memories and items will go with me (if we're shifting house).

*****"Treasure what you have now, not when it's gone.
As life is too short even for us to know."*****

OcCuPiEd...

Getting yourself busy and occupied with lotsa stuff will be the best way to refrain yourself from thinking about other unnecessary stuff. I'm glad that lotsa work (i mean seriously work from my work) is keeping me hell busy, that i practically have no time to think of any unhappy stuff.

After attending the Yoga session, i feel that it doesnt help us relax at all, infact making us strain most of our muscles. Probably it's a diff. kind of Yoga ? I guess so...

Maybe i should go for some Aerobics or maybe kick boxing ? But not for now, too broke to think about it...

I'm getting real excited !! Cause i'm gonna FLY !! I'm going to BANGKOK during April and TAIWAN during May...

BANGKOK - Oh well, many of you might feel that i've been there like so many times, recent one was like Oct ? Haha don't ask why i'm going back there again, i just miss the food and also i'm going with diff. group of frenz this time round. Gonna be exciting... AIR TICKET BOOKED, Awaiting Hotel...

TAIWAN - Oh yea, i love TAIWAN !!! Been there during July, my 1st time there, but i just feel like going back there again, mainly for the FOOD !!! It's so yummy~~licious... And this time round is with another diff. group of frenz, so gonna be super cool too !! And also because of some reasons. AIR TICKET & HOTEL BOOKED.

And and i have to add on that i do not have enough Leave for these 2 trips, but i'll just to find ways to earn my leave... =P

Ok i am jus blogging for fun, no one read though, so yea... Goodbye and Take Care Frenz...

I'll see you when i see you~~~

TuRniNg bAcK tiMeS...

If i could turn back the time, i'll put you 1st in my life~~ And i swear, if you come back into my life, even till the end of time, oh yes i do...

Haha this songs jus linger in my mind for no apparent reason. As each & every single one of us will wish to turn back times for certain things that happened in life. But i strongly believed, once you screw it up, chances of turning back the time or given a chance will be a mere 15% at most ?
If you had asked me on which are the things i regret n wish to turn back the time to amend it, there'll be a few stuff:-

1. To study harder !
2. To treasure all my "ex" friends (which i lost some...)
3. To love this 1 particular person whole heartedly (which there'll nv be a 2nd chance anymore) - which i blame myself so much as i screwed it up.

These are the 3 stuffs which lingers strongly in my mind and heart. I know i'm being rather random, but thats me, shot whatever i want, whatever things that's in my mind.

Sometimes you wont know how much u regret until you really lose something and nv will be able to get it back.

I have doubts, yet i see a dim light of hope, but i can foresee that my heart will be shattered into million pieces once more if i follow this dim light of hope. I'm usually someone who's quite firm on my decision, but why am i hesitating and doubting on certain stuff ? I seriously cant find an answer to it.

Like Saturday was a rather bad day for me, but i'm still able of portray the cheerful side of myself. Like Stef gave us hope, by appearing at the eawards concert, i'm not expecting much from her, therefore when she sang only 1 song, i'm not utterly disappointed.
That's human, therefore don't expect too much in life, as you might experience a greater disappointment.


*** When the night approached, sadness lingers in my mind. When my handphone beep, my heart skips a little faster, hoping that it was you. When i'm in trouble, the first one i think of wasn't you. The feeling of being loved, slowly fades, leaving no rooms for tears. ***

I'm sorry for being so random, jus feels that my mind couldn't think properly...

Take care and stay happy to whoever happened to drop by my blog. Appreciated...

In Love With The Night~~~

I am starting to love the night. Ever since i started working, i've not been hanging out till duper late at night. Recently i've spend quite a few nights out, especially a night at East Coast, heading home feeling tired yet feeling the peacefulness on the road and ofcourse the company of my ipod songs.

The crazy night out, haunting for night romantic place and nice makan-ing areas, supper and some stalking plans. I'm starting to miss all of it. Although some of the events are with 1 old uncle.. ( i treated him like my godfather though).

I'm having rather weird dreams these few nights, and surprisingly i'm seriously enjoying going to work everyday, it's not because i'm totally into the job, just that it's the nice colleagues and company i have. Really really glad and happy to have sucha nice working environment, hopes things will remain as what i'm expecting and hope it can turn out better.

Ok i'm really tired, guess my mind kinda "Hybernating" i seriously dun really know what i'm typing. But I really Love and Treasure all my Dearest who's always there for me and cheering me on.

Loves~~~