The Useless Me...

Am I Useless ? Yes, I am when it comes to friendship.

I realise I am always the one, experiencing SHIT when it comes to maintaining a friendship. It is always the TIME as a factor. However, I have very close friends, whom I tht we will really be BFF. But... until now, I really have no idea what is wrong. I really want to know what went wrong, but I just can't bring up my courage to ask again. I don't want to be SHUT by unknown answer, and keep poundering. I have to know what went wrong, before I can change or do something to improve on the friendship.

It really affects me, I mean, no one will understand how I feel...

Probably it's just the matter of time that things will turn out well ? Nah, I don't think so...
Probably I should just treat that nothing have happened ? Nah, It's not easy...
Probably I should just wait for the right opportunity to have a talk with them ?
Probably I am just thinking too much ? Nah, I don't think so too... Cause things seems different.

Can I have an answer, Can I know what's going on wrong ? We're close friends before, am sure there will be ways to make things turn out well again. We spend so much time, so much effort, but just within the snap of our fingers, everything just drop to square 1 ? Still remembering the happy times which all of us have spent together ? How we actually put in effort to celebrate each and everyone's birthday ?

Please God... I just need to know the reason, I just need an answer, or rather I pray that I can really get a reply someday. I know that this friendship to me means alot, it's definitely not a Hi-Bye friendship. But if they think I'm only worth the Hi-Bye category, then I'll really give up.

Sincerely Hearts The Old Days,
Amanda Chua